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Things I will eyeroll if you put it in your fic

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1. Fishing-for-compliments. "Omigod, this fanfic is so bad, I'm sorry, I shouldn't even be posting this!" If you say something like that about your own work, you know what? I'm gonna believe you. Yeah, your fanfic probably sucks and you should probably have kept it to yourself.

2. M/M sex scenes where one half of the slash pairing thinks to himself how, at last, he can be as rough as he wants to be because his sex partner is a big tough man and not some fragile woman. Um, have you ever had sex with a woman? Women are not china dolls. If you fuck a woman vigorously, her leg will not pop off or something. And a penis isn't a battering ram, for fuck's sake.

3. "Blown pupils". Has any turn of phrase ever metatastized across fandom so quickly and so widely?

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