Queen Lucy has signed on to a role with Marvel's Agents of SHIELD. She will probably be playing a Mary Sue crafted from Joss Whedon's masturbatory fantasies, but allow me to indulge my hope for a minute that she will instead be playing Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine, a spy and Nick Fury's long-time love interest. My first choice for Contessa is Monica Belluci, but if we cannot have her, then Lawless is more than acceptable.
![]()
I also demand that Agents of SHIELD recreate this iconic Nick Fury moment on the show, with Samuel L. Jackson and Lucy Lawless. Every element about this image is priceless.
-- unconscious white woman on the floor
-- shirtless Nick Fury
-- shirtless Nick Fury riding a jet-propelled motorcycle
-- shirtless Nick Fury riding a jet-propelled motorcycle, firing with a gun in each hand while smoking a cigar
This would be the most compelling moment of television ever.

I also demand that Agents of SHIELD recreate this iconic Nick Fury moment on the show, with Samuel L. Jackson and Lucy Lawless. Every element about this image is priceless.
-- unconscious white woman on the floor
-- shirtless Nick Fury
-- shirtless Nick Fury riding a jet-propelled motorcycle
-- shirtless Nick Fury riding a jet-propelled motorcycle, firing with a gun in each hand while smoking a cigar
This would be the most compelling moment of television ever.